Plethora Of Adrift Contemplation

I was on a raft

Looking for a way to reach the moon

I suddenly lost my grip on the oars

Ever since I feel fragments of me have been chipping off

With every jerk that the raft is being hit with

The water that was worth the swim is now trying to drown me

And what’s worse is I am thinking of letting it

But then I thought I might be too young to let it overpower me

But the complication that struck me is that

Every thought I had of a possible stability has been shattered

In a calm manner which scares me to death

Maybe I want to scream it out

But I realise that even if there is somebody to hear me out

I cannot see them for there is darkness around me

Created by me

Trying to search for the moon

Making me feel like maybe feeling lost is not that bad after all.

Pellucid Flower

When you feel forlorn

Those emotions would be dying to come out

The same ones which you have kept deep beneath since forever

Talk to me,

Even if you know me;

Or you might not want to

For I know you,

Talk to a stranger then;

For you are just like a flower

Who has turned transparent in the rain

Everything about and around you was different

When you seemed fine

But the real you

will only show when you are drenched,

Each petal soaked

For the translucency to be shown

No act to be put up

For anyone or yourself

Just your see through soul

Ready to be set free

Questions that eat ..

Is it the quiet breeze that has turned into a storm tonight and is knocking at my door?
Tempting me to open the door and let myself get thrown to whichever place it wants
Is it the calmness of the ocean which has turned into rushing angry waves tonight ?
Scaring me a little every second I hear the splashing sounds
Is it the quietness of the lion which vanishes when it has to command over it’s pride?
Leaving me alarmed yet amazed at the same time
Questioning myself I sit..
What if I drown?
What if I get lost in a world that I know nothing of?
What if someone controls me and does not let me go my way?
But then I realise if I do not try,the life given to me is an utter waste..
I would be wasting my youth in a cooped up in some corner
Whereas I can see people at the age of almost 80 and above full of life and eager to try new things.
My life would be a waste rather than an adventure..
And that would depress me more than anything in the world
For when I know that I can be stronger and face my life the way it is
Killing the cowardly acts of running away from life itself..
I would rather want to jump into an ocean and sea the many kinds of creatures living beneath the surface

Or fly with the creatures around the world to see New beginnings a little frequently

Stay on this very land I am on right now
And learn the things I do not know of life..
For zeal to live life should not die
Face the hardships
They will only teach me how to stay afloat
Endure the pain
For it will make me stronger mentally and physically
Take a risk

For everyone else around watches in amusement and question their questions on me they’ve had till now

Learn to speak up..

For I have the power to make someone smile under their roughest times
For when death comes ..

I will welcome it..
For I would have lived my life in such a way that I would be satisfied

Because the impact I would want to leave is a smile..

Even at their sadest moments..

Even after I die.

Fat girl diaries

My inspiration..
I bub you Cheryl Thomas

Live Like A Phoenix

27/11/2014
Dear Diary,

It is my birthday today and you know this is the only day of the year I look forward to but I don’t know why and what I look forward to on this stupid day. No one is here except my parents and my little sister and the one person who I thought liked me for who I was didn’t even wish me. All I am doing on this horrible day is, sit on my bed with my brownie cake and get fatter.

Do you know how hard it is to be fat? Not just fat but be a fat girl? I do, and I’m not treated as any normal girl, I am treated as another gender altogether. Male, female and then, fat, under which I happily lay. I always wondered why this happened, this discrimination between the fat and the skinny, was it only because I…

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